Sex, for most species, is about procreation. But in humans, as we know, sex and love are much more complicated than that. Robyn Perkins is a biological scientist and award winning comedian who is set to explore the world of modern dating in her new show Mating Selection this FRINGE WORLD at Deluxe at The Ice Cream Factory from Sunday, January 25 to Sunday, February 8. It tells the true story of how Robyn took part in a live dating show (which went horribly wrong), looks at the social constructs of present-day dating, the science of love, and of course her own personal stories in the dating game.
We asked Robyn Perkins to draw her scientific and comical eye over some of the myths about modern dating, and she claims most of our dating guidelines do not make logical, biological sense. Plus while the dating world is changing, there are some old school rules that are still in existence. Perkins has been kind enough to share some of her insight into the following top three controversial human dating tactics…
The most famous of the games people play is hard to get. I also find it the most illogical. It is blatant lying. We are literally telling someone we don’t like them…to show that we like them. Really?! But when done right, it works. Sure, most dating blogs today tell you it is no longer a “rule,” but if we’ve learned anything from the economics of supply and demand, the less there is of something, the more valuable it becomes. Whether it’s a limited edition trainer, a guest list to a concert, or a hot girl; you always want what you can’t have.
Ah, the face-judging apps, ordering dates like takeaway. Scientifically speaking, they should increase relationships exponentially. For example, say you put all of the rabbits in the world in one location, they would couple up… like rabbits. The more accessible the potential mate, the more couples that should exist. Right? Maybe not.
On one hand, dating apps fit a society that is glued to their phone. It helps out the shy people and works into busy lifestyles. But when you have thousands to choose from, it is easy to discount someone for a characteristic you may not even see if you met them in person, like hair colour or nationality. I’m American – I am very easy to discount on paper…not that I am bitter. With FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) on the rise, and the paradox of choice, dating apps can actually make people settle down less, constantly looking for something better. Maybe in a way, dating apps are society’s way of regulating population…
This one is contentious. Most people say the third date rule is old news. But most people do not practice what they preach. Obviously it doesn’t need to be “date three,” but at the same time, many people still advise waiting a bit to show you are interested in the person, not just the hot and heavy (yes, I used that phrase). Of course in the animal kingdom, if you are into it, get into it. Otters hold hands so they don’t float away… not because they are taking things slow.
So what’s the take home message? Society and culture has played a role in dating for centuries. We don’t function like any other animals, so unfortunately, dating will never be as straightforward as lobsters. But at the end of the day, you just hope that if you like each other enough, the rules won’t matter.